One of the very painful things of the academic world

Please, don't take that I am trying to show off. The case right now urges me to do this in English. I am sitting in the library of my university and no Unikey allowed. Now it is 19 minutes past midnight. I have a deadline this Friday and it's really demanding assignment. When I am reading books of intonation, the topic I choose to do research on, I feel so painful that I can't stand not noting these thoughts.

You know what, you may be ever painful because of the workload, of not understanding a theory, of boredom, etc. But for me, I feel painful when I don't agree with the predecessors of the field. I desire to explain all of my arguments in the essay. But after all, who am I to do that? These professionals had ages of researching, tons of experiments and years of teaching experience, let alone they earned PhD, bla, bla.

Normally, being a learner, we try to absorb everything which has been discovered. We almost assume that these theories are all accurate, then our work is trying to understand and applying in our job afterwards. You may be critical that if everyone thinks that way, the human being cannot invent new things and we would gone nowhere. But now, how can I, to be a one-year experienced English teacher and on the way to earn a Mater of TESOL, argue against huge people with their systematic legacy. I am confronted with the risk that I may get a bad mark for my assignment because my teacher is very likely to agree with their theories as well, otherwise, she should have had a PhD project on it.

But in no way I do differently, I am so sincere with myself. I can't stand lying, even to myself. I continue to work now and will speak out all my thoughts in the essay.
Hope you have a nice week, overcoming all painful issues and make progresses. I love this life so much.