We, the students, are on the peak of stress and workload for the deadline on Friday. At the same time, we have to attend lectures of a new module. And lectures here do not mean that you just come and listen. It means that you have to read some articles before class, reflect on some tasks and participate in discussion. Today, we tried our best to at least read the articles at home but it's out of our ability to do the task. When only four hands out of roughly 15 were raised for having done the task, my teacher said "rubbish". Then she was really angry with tense face, dividing the class into "done" and "not done" groups, pressing us to do the task hurriedly and emphasising why the task could be done so quickly but we didn't do it at home. Luckily, she decided to postpone the next lesson on Thursday to next week.
I was really embarrassed for my mistake. I felt really bad for the word "rubbish". But the assignment and other academic duties have come to the edge of my effort. I have nothing to be regretful nor do I think that I should have done differently if I had done it again. I felt hurt. This is a really annoying character I consider myself. I am always too sensitive. Such a day as today never makes people mind so much or so long. They seem to be more acquainted with being blamed or scolded than me. But it's not true. I was also trained in hostile environments, for example, Vietinbank, and ITOCHU corp. I struggled to face up to the hardest bosses. But after all, I still feel hurt whenever I am blamed. I don't know the reason, whether it's because of my parents' education and behaviour, my childhood, or it's instinct. And I have no way to change this character. I extremely hate myself for that. I wish I could overcome this negative mood easily.
If you have any suggestion, please tell me, it's really crucial to my life. Many thanks!
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